One day last fall, I found myself in a compromising position with a vacuum tube, a rubber pig, and a spudger.*
A while back I got this little rubber pink most-of-a-pig that, instead of a head, has a suction cup to attach to a phone. The pig body props up the phone. It’s a ridiculous single-use item and it cost a dollar but it’s hilarious. So.
I used it to prop up my phone to watch a video while working at the kitchen table.
I was making a mess. It was time to clean up. The open tube of the vacuum seemed more effective than the floor attachment, so I went at it with that and… picked up the pig.
A, the son of an amateur vacuum repairman (and professional dentist, stairbuilder, Uber/Lyft driver, store manager, and test engineer, though not all at once), was happy to help me figure this out. He agreed that the pig was stuck where I thought it was. We had a fancy ass vacuum we didn’t want to ruin, and per internet videos it looked like taking it apart would ruin it, so we shook the tube around enough to get the pig in our smartphone flashlight crosshairs.
Then… Well. Let me paint you a picture.
A is sitting on the couch, holding the end of the vacuum tube that’s farther from the little rubber pig. I’m lying down on the floor, face up, holding the end where the pig is just visible. We’re trying to use gravity to our advantage. This is what college degrees are for, people. Gravity.
The phone is on the ground next to me, flashlight on. I’m trying to aim the open tube over the phone flashlight so I can see what I’m doing, and to use the spudger to nudge the little pig down.
This is when I ask if maybe we can vacuum the damn thing out of there. Clearly, I haven’t learned my lesson.
A decides that what would be most helpful right now, while the vacuum tube is over my face, is to try to blow the pig out. So he does.
The pig doesn’t move, but the dust does.
And I start laughing. And coughing.
To recap: I get a rubber phone-propping pig stuck in a vacuum cleaner. I think it might be possible to solve this by vacuuming it out. My partner thinks he can blow into the vacuum tube while it’s over my face to get out a pig that’s nestled in, tight.
At least we’re well-matched.
(By the way, the pig did come out–not because of the huffing and puffing, but with the help of the spudger. Yay, tools! And rescued amazing appliances.)
*From Wikipedia: “A spudger is a tool that has a wide flat-head screwdriver-like end that extends as a wedge, used to separate pressure-fit plastic components without causing damage during separation.”
This Glass Has Water 