I’m contacting someone who used to study where I used to work. We were friendly with each other and hung out several times. She’s bright and lovely to talk to and happens to know a lot about a topic that interests me.
I text her to catch up.
She responds right away, asking questions of her own.
I follow up and also ask to talk on the phone, mentioning questions about said topic.
She responds right away, happy to talk.
I follow up and suggest some times.
And then, even though she’s already agreed to talk to me, even though there’s a purely friendly basis for all of this, I say,
“I don’t think it should take more than 15-20 minutes of your time.”
…
Immediately, I become a scammer. A swindler. A door-to-door vacuum, insurance, religion, or girl scout cookie salesperson. A fundraiser for a politician or for a charity you’ve never heard of… that’s probably not a charity at all. A signature-collector outside the grocery store. A car warranty expiration notice-giver in your voicemail. A person who wants something that feels utterly one-sided: your time, your attention, your money, in exchange for—potentially—no longer asking for your time, your attention, your money.
Even though that’s not the kind of exchange I’m looking for at all.
…
Crickets.
Damn it.
This Glass Has Water 